After recently entering adulthood, I came up with eighteen life lessons I have accumulated across eighteen years of my life. Some obvious and some not-so-obvious, here they are :
- People are always attracted to achievements
Instead of pandering to others and worrying about whether you are likable or not and thus feeling lonely, I have learned to work hard and better myself — people will instinctively follow. This because people always strive for betterment and so would want to surround themselves with successful people.
Ironically, you stop feeling lonely once you stop caring about what others think - Seeing things to the end
I used to have the habit of leaving projects midway and unfinished. I still do. But now, I consciously try to keep at it — no matter how long it takes, don’t give up and finish it. Hopefully, I will soon be able to ingrain this habit and find solace in the completion of my ventures.
I also want to be a person who sticks to their word. - I used to think that I could work on improving myself later on in life. That I’d have much time and opportunity in the future. After all, I’m still young and most of my role models turned their life around at a much later age than mine.
But the thing is, you never know the future. You only know and can control the present and embrace the now. If I have the power to become my ideal self right now, then why shouldn’t I go ahead with it? - I also used to think that right now, I’m in a period of transition, I will be happier with myself when the end result is ready. But I will always be in a period of transition because as is commonly said, “only change is permanent” and I should embrace the process.
- After unnecessarily panicking and getting anxious about unimportant matters or allocating more importance than necessary to events, I have learned that nothing is worth taking so much stress that it burns you up from the inside. At the cost of being hedonistic, I think that the end goal is to be happy, and doing anything that stands otherwise is simply not worth it.
- Always communicate
I used to get pretty upset when people didn’t wish me on my birthday. But the thing was, I never really told anyone when my birthday and would sit quietly in the corner. Though it sounds obvious, if you don’t tell people about something, they won’t know. Never expect other people to read your mind, even if you feel that they know you inside out. After several miscommunications, I cannot emphasize how important expressing your opinions and thoughts is. - Being independent
I am of the opinion that one should be able to do stuff oneself — yes delegate work to others but don’t put yourself in a position where you are dependent on them. You should be able to survive and accomplish the task even if they are not able to do the delegated work. - Self Improvement is the most valuable virtue
Try to improve yourself every day. No matter how small, you should learn something or the other each day. Always strive for betterment — you deserve to reach your potential and beyond. - Negative emotions are a call to action. Don’t overthink to the point of self-hatred even if it feels easier to dwell in pity and sadness.
- Always break tasks into smaller and smaller tasks, it’ll be so much easier. I apply that to each thing in my life.
- Maintaining relationships
I am still in the midst of learning how to maintain relationships, be kind to others, and behave socially. But I think this virtue will take one a long way in this world of interconnectedness. - Taking initiative
One of the most important lessons I have learned is to take the initiative. No one is responsible for your progress or your situation but yourself. No one is going to lay the path for you. There will be many a time when you have to make opportunities for yourself. Get yourself in the room. Take on more work. Show that you are capable. Take the initiative. Get ahead. - Everyone’s trajectory is different
Your progress is not the same as someone else’s. So when you see someone else at a much much higher level than you are, yes admire them and take inspiration, but also remember that you are also at a stage at which they were at one point of time and they must have put in a lot of work to get where they are — which you don’t see and will have to put in by yourself. Find a balance between competition, comparison, and self-evaluation. - Don’t be shy to show your true self
I used to think that it is alright that my own perception of myself is not the same as other’s perception of me because as long as I know who I am, it doesn’t matter what others feel, right? Wrong. The more I portray the true version of myself, the more opportunities I get to do so, and the more I will meet like-minded people who appreciate me. For example, I was personally a very talkative and outspoken person, but often an image of a shy kid would get portrayed instead. I didn’t mind, but because of that people would not approach me as much nor would I approach them and that made me lonely. But as I gradually shed that identity and showed my extrovert self, I made more friends and became more of an open book than I was. - Always ask questions.
I never used to ask questions out of fear of being perceived as dumb or annoying. But I’ve realised that maximum, the person will say no. And who knows, you might get some really interesting answers and end up leaving having learned something new. Furthermore, it’ll notify the person of your existence and show that you are actually paying attention and have a thirst for knowledge. There are no dumb questions, only dumb answers. So don’t shy away from raising your hands once in a while. - Recognise those who actually care about you and will stick around. Then, instead of pandering to others who eventually will forget about you, invest your time in building a relationship with that person.
- Giving myself credit is also Self Care
I should give myself more credit than I think. Yes, it is good to be hard on yourself because that is what drives you to perfection. But once in a while, realise that you’re worth all the attention you think you deserve and more, and that you are trying and that is what matters in the end. - Appreciate your family. They are your rock and you should be theirs.
I think I’ll end this with — life is short and we’re all gonna cease to exist eventually. So why not live without any regrets?
Excited to see what new gems I discover in the coming years :)
